10 Life lessons that I wished I had learned earlier : Part 2

 

When you make a mistake, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.
- Hugh White (1773 – 1840)

I sometimes wish to invent a time machine and go back and tell my younger self to watch out, do things differently. I am science fiction fan and geek at heart so having such a ideas are common to me but I know they are not practical or possible right now.

This is second part of post that shares many mistakes I made in past and how I would do it differently now. Check out the10 life lessons that I wished I had learned earlier : Part 1 here.

Sometimes I think these mistakes and lessons learned have made me more wiser (sic!) and more mature. If I had not made these mistakes I would not have grown, as I would not have learned any lessons if things were easier to achieve. Making mistakes are part of being human and learning from our mistakes makes us a better human, teaches us compassion, joy, pain and finally triumph when we come over our hurdles in life.

Here are a few more lessons I wished I had learned from it earlier. Read on and if you like it, please share with others so others can learn from my mistakes.

6. There are no short cuts to success.

Success can mean different things to different people. Whatever your success goals are, there are no short cuts. There are lot of luck and lot of hard work involved. Keep doing you work without getting discouraged is the best way to go for many people.

Many times we see or hear about someone who succeed and think that they are overnight success but that may not be the truth. They may have worked behind the scenes for months, or even years to get where they are, what they achieved.

Many times I wanted things faster, quicker but success or satisfaction came through doing a complete process of doing a task, regardless of what outcome would have been. Do not look for instant gratification, even though it is not easy to wait for it. Really, some short cuts may seem like you are winning at first but in the end, hard work, persistence and little luck always wins out. If you think otherwise, please share your wisdom with us.

7. You can not please everyone.

It is hard for me to see anyone upset, knowingly. I might have unknowingly made someone upset but that is never my intention and I have been a people pleaser most of the time. Many of good people are like that as they do not want to see anyone hurt, sad or upset.

I have come to realize slowly that you can not please EVERYONE. If you try it, you may still not please everyone and you will resent the situation, people or yourself eventually.

I have tried to please many people in my life, unsuccessfully for long time. While I still want to do right thing and make them happy, now I do not do it, if that makes me unhappy or it is against one of mycore values. Some people may not like it but long term effect will be lot more positive. Just make sure you trust your gut feelings and core values.

8. Keep your life areas in balance.

If you are hungry, sleep deprived or in deep debt, you can not think life improvement or personal development. One need to have many life area to be in balanced in order to be live the best life he or she can live. My life was not in balanced until I made sure that following aspects of my life were taken care of; Keep yourlife area balanced to live best life you can.

  1. Family: Without family to love, care and share with, life will not be complete.
  2. Knowledge: Work/Career/Learning: Humans like to constantly learn new skills and gain knowledge.
  3. Spiritual or Religious: You do not have be religious, spiritual prayers, meditation can do wonder.
  4. Financial: You can not focus on other aspect if you are deep and debt and worrying about it.
  5. Health: Health is true wealth, without it balance will not be complete.
  6. Social: We humans are social creatures, we like to live among society and other people.

9. Tell your family and friends how much you love them today.

We are often so busy in our daily grind of life, we do not realize how important your family and close friends can be. Tell them you love them, share a hug every day, without any reasons. It does not need to be valentine day, father’s day, mother’s day or any holidays, hug and share love, just because you care! A simple thing to make time for.

I know this as it has hit me well in heart where it hurts, deeply even now. I did not get a chance to tell my grandmother and grandfather, how much I cared for them and loved them before they passed away.

When I was a child, my mom used to drop me off at my grandparent’s house everyday before going for her work in morning. They doted on me and I had loads of fun together with them. My grandfather, noted author of his time, made up special stories for me and he never got tired of telling same stories again and again as I asked for it. My grandmother, showed off my littlest talent to everyone and kept best of snacks and munchies saved up for me and waited for my visits. They made me feel so special beyond words can describe.

My grandmother was mostly healthy and passed away unexpectedly at home one evening. I never got a chance to return the favor and show them they meant a lot to me and how much I cared for them. Even after many years, talking about her brings back tears and my guilt of not being with her, doing things for her, making her feel special as she had done for me.

Do not wait, till your loved one are sick or in hospital, do it now. No one can stop death but we can share happy moments together and create a memories that will last longer time.

10. I am not done learning lessons.

Once upon a time I thought I knew everything. More I learned as I realized that I hardly knew anything. Now I know that I do not know much. I have barely just begin to scratch the surface.

I know enough to realize that my lessons and learning is far from done. I know I will make more mistakes and learn more lessons in life journey. Knowing that makes me either silly or humble, I am not sure. But I know one thing my learning is still ongoing and that is a good thing because mind is like a parachute, it works only when it is open and I want to be open minded and realist in my life.

Make mistakes, learn from it and live a better and happier life. Be content and positive.

What are you some of the life lessons that you wished you knew it sooner? Please share, we all have great wisdom and life stories to share.

Preeti

Image source: reallifespirituality.com

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About Author: This post is written by Preeti who writes under name of Zengirl on Heart and Mind Blog. She writes articles about self improvement, stress free and slow living and believes in slow blogging.

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I am stay at home with 2 kids, married to my best friend zenguy. I am in to simplifying, slow and sustainable living, I am frugal, love reading, writing and watching romantic movies. I believe in family, friendship and community.

34 comments

  1. Marko -- Calm Growth says:

    Hi Preeti…

    True it is, we can not satisfy everyone, and we do not need to. There will always be dissatisfied people. We can not control them. But we can control ourselves and our level of satisfaction, we need to cease to depend on approval of others and live better than ever… Dissatisfied people are NOT reason to feel bad and look for a mistake in ourselves.

    I love this ninth lesson… Once in my life I made that mistake and never more!

  2. Uzma says:

    Great post Preeti. I was also at no 10 for long. Then I learnt that to think so was folly, a way of the ego. So now I’ve learned to watch the mind when its begins to act like Mister Know it all. Then I take a breathe and delve into trying some non judgementality..Great lesson for all us, thanks Preeti

  3. Katie says:

    Thanks for sharing more, Preeti. Continual learning is the spice of life, isn’t it? Lovely post. Keep up the good work.

  4. ZenGirl says:

    Abubakar,

    Thanks. I guess great minds or friends think alike right? I am happy to share 10 of my many mistakes here! Again, thanks for creating a wonderful series for all of us to participate.

  5. ZenGirl says:

    Marco,

    I still struggle through making everyone happy occasionally as I do not want to hurt anyone but once I catch myself doing it, I stop. Specially if it something against my core values and it has helped.

    I am sorry that you too had to learn 9th lesson the way I did. It is tough for me even now. Thanks for sharing that part of your life.

  6. ZenGirl says:

    Uzma,

    Welcome and thank you for the comment. #10 was hardest for me to be aware and admit to myself first. But I know one thing for sure, that I hardly know anything, this universe has so many amazing learning possibilities and I barely know 0.001% of it, maybe!

    I am glad I am not the only one, thank you for that. It is great to have company in journey of life learning.

  7. Farnoosh says:

    Preeti, I assure you my dear your grandparents knew exactly how you felt about them so don’t worry and don’t think twice about that…..It is nonetheless great advice. I certainly smother my husband sometimes but it’s far better than neglect. He’s all I got since no kiddies around here. Thank you for doing part 2. We have so enjoyed reading these lessons and knowing full well how many of them we share with you….well over one!

  8. Angela Artemis says:

    Hi Preeti,
    This was a wonderful post. I can relate to many of your lessons too. Isn’t it funny how we are the same, really? No matter how “different” we appear to be – deep down all of us are here to learn the same lessons!

    XXX000
    Angela

  9. ZenGirl says:

    Farnoosh,

    I think you might be right, but you know that nagging feeling that I did not do it, I was not there for her when she took her last breath. Being far away from India does not help but I wonder, if they really knew how much I cared for them and still do.

    I am sure your husband is lucky. Enjoy your time and travel before kids come around, then it will be different type of joy. Zenguy and I have traveled to many places before kids now we do it, but it is different type of travel, different approach! Thanks for stopping by, I was missing your wisdom here.

  10. ZenGirl says:

    Angela,

    Yes, I am surprised in a way but then again I should not be. All of us are want to improve ourselves and our lives and no wonder many of us think alike and what makes us online friends. I have many lessons to still learn but I know I am slowly learning each day something which is a good thing.

    Thanks, I really loved your last post about want life or house!

  11. Tess The Bold Life says:

    I think one of the most important discoveries in my life is that I didn’t need the approval of others to be happy…ever. We need to teach this as soon as a child is able to understand.

  12. mark says:

    Hey Preeti,

    I love that picture. :)

    These are all great, but I must say that the last one, “I am not done learning lessons” is probably the most important from my point of view. Acknowledging that we have not reached a point where we always know what is correct & keeping an open mind to new ideas are what makes smart people smart in my opinion. Otherwise, we would never be able to adapt to new situations.

    These posts are quite inspiring. Thank you!

  13. Sibyl-alternaview says:

    Yeah … Part 2. I have been looking forward to seeing this one. Great post and more wonderful insights. I really appreciated what you said about keeping everything in balance. It is so true that if we allow things to be out of whack in our lives, things never really completely fall into place the way they should. It really is all about striking that perfect balance between all the things that are important in your life. Thanks for sharing your insights…great post.

  14. The Dropout Kid says:

    No short cut to success, this is right on the money. Success takes hard work and creative thinking. All you have to do is believe you can move mountains and you can. If you think you can or you think you can’t your right- henry ford.

  15. ZenGirl says:

    Tess,

    That sure is great discovery, if we all lived that way, we would be happy. It is hard lesson but it can learned. I agree with you we should (parents and teachers) teach kids at young age. Thank you for your insight.

  16. ZenGirl says:

    Mark,

    I like that picture too!

    Yes I wanted to say that I still making mistakes and learning lessons in life. Open mind is best way to learn a new concept or belief that is opposite of what we believe in.

    I am glad you liked it.

  17. ZenGirl says:

    Sibyl,

    I am happy that you were looking forward to part 2, I wanted to share all in one post but I thought it would be too long of post for most people. slow and small doses of knowledge is better :-)

    I write everything about finding a balance between heart and mind and if you look at it everything in life needs a balance, without it our life would be out of whack, just as you said.

  18. ZenGirl says:

    DOK,

    Thanks for sharing Henry Ford’s quote. I too found that short cuts do not work in my life and majority of people. A few lucky ones gets success with little or no work!

  19. Farnoosh says:

    I am always here, I may be late to the game but you know I’ll make it to read your writing eventually, Preeti….I KNOW the feeling – I did not get those opportunities with both my grandfathers. Life sometimes sucks and the beloved are always taken from us much too soon.
    Oh traveling. I live for it really. :)!

  20. Aileen says:

    I like that you split this up into two posts, it allows me (the reader) to take it in one piece then another piece. Really, really love that!

    I’m still challenged with the ‘can’t please everyone’ I look forward to the day that I can own that

  21. Betsy Bargain says:

    I could definitely relate to many of your same life lessons. I guess we are all on similar journeys as human beings. Your story about your grandmother brought tears to my eyes. I am sure, as another reader mentioned, that your grandmother already knew you loved her.

  22. ZenGirl says:

    Farnoosh,

    I know you always do read and comment, I do appreciate it. I am sorry that you had same thing happened with your both grandfathers. Life is too short time and we have to make best of it.

    Did you finish the Counte of Monte Cristo?

  23. ZenGirl says:

    Aileen,

    By the time I poured my lesson series, final article was over 2300 words, and I did not want to overwhelm my readers, like I said lesson and learning on small doses of 1200 words are bit better. :-) I am glad you like the format as well as I was not too sure.

    I occasionally have to work on not pleasing everyone, specially when it is against my core values but I am getting better. I am sure soon you will be able to own it, we can do it together.

  24. ZenGirl says:

    Betsy,

    Yes, many of us are in same journey as all of us, no matter where are from, where we live and how we were raised, but we all have similar aspirations and similar good heart so I am not surprised that all of us feel very similar way.

    Maybe my grandmother knew, but I wanted to tell her to be sure what I feel about her. Being far away from her (she in India and I am in US) did not help, I did not get chance to see her often :-( Past regrets makes a better lesson, hopefully I will be better with my loved ones now.

  25. Marion Anderson says:

    Preeti

    This is a great follow up to your first post. The lesson that resonates with me is about keeping your life areas in balance.

    I know how important it is but somehow it is a lesson that keeps turning up in my life like a class at school I did not pass and had to retake.

    Lovely post – Thank you

  26. Farnoosh says:

    No!!! I have not finished. I really want to finish. I am only 50% in….Too much else has been happening. You shall know when I am finished :)!

  27. ZenGirl says:

    Marion,

    Thank you. I too feel everything is better in life with balance, weather it is our values, or heart and mind.

    Lot of things I did not learn from school either, like many people, we are learning as we stumbled and fall before we learn to walk gracefully.

  28. ZenGirl says:

    Farnoosh,

    Yes I can understand, some time life has many things going on. I am sure you will finish it and catch the movie, it will be good. I like that one with little twist from a book but still enjoyable. Take care.

  29. Dia says:

    Very nice Preeti. Telling the people we love that we love them is crucial. Many people feel shy and don’t tell their loved ones that they love them, which is a great mistake. Thanks for sharing Preeti

  30. ZenGirl says:

    Dia,

    Thank you for your comment. I agree many times we are too busy or some of us might be shy. It is specially true in our eastern culture. We can still show how much we care and love them in other ways before it is too late.

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