How To Find Your Core Values: Part 2 (13 comments)
Last time we looked at all possible values and did exercise to find your top 10 values. Then we narrowed it down to top 5, most important values that describes who you are;
If you have followed the steps and done the exercise right, you will have top 5 values, let’s put them in order of importance. Why this step? Is it necessary? Yes, and I will explain it with an example, so it is easy for all of us to understand. Core thing is finding your own values is tofinding a simple balance between what your heart and mind wants , once you got the balance life choices becomes easier to make.
Why order of priorities is important?
For example, Ryan has narrowed down to 5 values and out of these values, one of them is providing for his family, and other one is being ethical and moral. Let’s say, Ryan is without a job and savings and his family is starving. He has not put these values in order of importance to him. Let’s suppose, if he gets a opportunity to find a job that pays well enough and provides for his family, but it is unethical and morally wrong for him. So Ryan takes the job, thinking feeding his family is #1 priority, but once in a job, he is unhappy and loses motivation to keep doing a job he does not believe in. The reason is that for Ryan providing for his family is very important but not at cost of losing his ethics and morals.
Once Ryan becomes aware of this fact, he may take low pay job that is more close to his ethics or he may find other alternative until such a job/career comes along. It might seem hard but Ryan can have both, his ethics and providing, caring for his family with little thinking and some hard work, it is not impossible to have your cake and eat it too.
There are no right or wrong way to prioritize your values or choose your values. Just make sure you choose it for your self and not to look good in front of someone. Both exercise is for you only, once you think, you ought to, should etc, you will not follow your own heart and your values might not be aligned with what you TRULY desire. I know this is very easy to mess this step up, because I have done so a few times before. For example, when I left my six figure plus bonus job to be at home with a child then, I looked crazy to many, including my own parents. I had a lot to lose, nice income, perks, traveling to US and Europe, feeling of importance that my position provided me, many work friends among a few other things. I did lose huge amount of money, perks and a few so called friends in the process, but I gained what is very important to me, my child then (now kids), my family and most of all my sanity.
For me being financially independent is important but I do not care to be filthy rich. You see there is a difference. We all tend to agree money does not bring happiness yet we often worry about money and everything related to money. For sake of transparency here, I am going to share my top 5 values here; Would you like to share yours?
3. Financial freedom
Some people I know have gone ahead and wrote personal mission statement about themselves like many companies do. It may seem like a lot of thinking work for some, and it works for some. Once you have done hard work of finding your values, writing mission statement becomes easier. Mission statement should include, what you truly value, what your goals are and how you will achieve them. It could be eating healthier, or slowing down etc. Have measurable goals such as I want to eat green leafy vegetables, 3 days in a week, or I want to keep Wednesday evening for my family, that means no to other engagement.
If you need help with building your personal, family mission statement or values, you can do so free atFranklin Covey Build a mission statement . You need to provide email so they can send you your values and statement there. One can have different mission statement for personal, family, career, or business use, it is up to you.
A few of the most important aspect of finding your value excercie is to remember;
1. This is big and deep thinking task, do it slowly but do it. If you do not take action, it will not happen. Break it down in small tasks or steps and follow through it.
2. Write it down, where you can see it, remember it. Hand written in notebook is the best way.
3. Find values that are important to YOU, not to impress others.
4. Be flexible, it is okay to change your values or mission statement. We all review and refine as our life changes. Values generally does not change but your thinking can change, so it is not set in a stone, change as you need.
5. Do not copy other successful people, be You, the original.
The whole purpose is to know and understand who you are and what truly makes you happy and living the best life for yourself.
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